Hormones and the start of a Bucket List

My monthly hormones often hit me like a ton of bricks. On very few months can I get by without noticing their surging; most often I am an emotional wreck for the few days (OK, weeks) before my cycle starts anew. Over the years I have tried so many ways to overcome this deficiency, including changing my diet and using supplements, but I still struggle. This month was no exception. Even though I KNEW it was "that time", I allowed myself to dwell on depressing thoughts of my own inadequacy and the futility of my life. My poor husband had to listen as I poured out my woes; the man is made of iron, and he took it pretty well. One thing I complained of to him was that I have not accomplished anything that I wanted to in my life. Here I am, 43 years old, and I have not done anything that I dreamed of doing when I was in my late teens and early 20's (except getting married, having 5 wonderful children, being blessed way more than I deserve--who said PMS was rational?), and when would they ever get done? Was I to live my whole life never fulfilling any of my desires?

He said ,"Well, what do you want to do?" I was actually not very able to form a coherent response at the time, because the focus then was on how downtrodden I am--constructive thought was not an option. But now that I am calmer (the *flow* has started, life all the sudden seems livable again), I realize that it is a valid question. What DO I want to do? What have I not accomplished that I really would like to? And so I want to start a Bucket List (things to do before I kick the bucket, in case you haven't seen the movie), to be added to or deleted from in the future. I have several items already in mind:

1) learn a language well enough to think in it
2) make a difference in someone's life for eternity
3) make my house a home
4) get out of debt
5) shop for wedding dresses with my daughters
6) teach younger women about raising their children and loving their husbands
7) play hymns with 4-note chords in the right hand

Already I'm overwhelmed. I've wasted so much time! How will I get these done, when my time seems so much not my own? Well, that's the Lord's job to figure that out, I guess. I'm not going to allow myself to get spun up about it again--at least, not this month.